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Post by hoofie on Nov 2, 2016 12:07:12 GMT -7
You could always pretend you're running for POTUS (either one) this year and both your good taste and any modesty once held would certainly vanish. The POTUS election does solve the pun: It's a catastrophe. Press Play:
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Post by hoofie on Nov 4, 2016 10:50:35 GMT -7
I am an expert in being ignored; no one seems to care.
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Post by hoofie on Nov 5, 2016 14:24:55 GMT -7
The defendant in a coffee theft trial refused to testify on the grounds that could incriminate him .
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Post by hoofie on Nov 7, 2016 8:43:45 GMT -7
I, for one, like Roman numerals.
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Post by hoofie on Nov 9, 2016 5:55:06 GMT -7
Impotence...Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings,"
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Post by hoofie on Nov 12, 2016 15:10:00 GMT -7
Driving down a remote road, a motorist sees a sign that says: "Watch For Fallen Rocks."
A couple of miles of careful driving later, he spots some pebbles and stops to pick a few up. Arriving in the next town, the motorist carries the stones into the highway maintenance office.
Placing them on the counter, he says to an official: "Here are your fallen rocks. Now where's my watch?"
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Post by hoofie on Nov 15, 2016 7:02:53 GMT -7
Contest today:
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Post by JMHO on Nov 15, 2016 14:24:41 GMT -7
Nailed it!
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Post by hoofie on Nov 15, 2016 15:18:40 GMT -7
YES!
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Post by JMHO on Nov 15, 2016 16:38:47 GMT -7
I'm going to enjoy this moment as I'll not likely have another...
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Post by hoofie on Nov 17, 2016 7:20:58 GMT -7
I once had a job in a transmission shop, but I left because it was shift work.
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Post by hoofie on Nov 18, 2016 7:11:32 GMT -7
I thought about going on an all-almond diet. But that’s just nuts.
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Post by hoofie on Nov 19, 2016 14:15:38 GMT -7
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Post by hoofie on Nov 23, 2016 7:05:56 GMT -7
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant, and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He had been checking her out since he sat down, but lacked the nerve to talk with her. Suddenly she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket towards the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back. "Oh my, I am so sorry," the woman says as she pops her eye back in place. "Let me buy you dessert to make it up to you." They enjoy a wonderful dessert together, and afterwards, the woman invites him to the theater followed by drinks. After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap...and stay for breakfast the next morning. The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed! Everything has been incredible! "You know," he said, "you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?" "No," she replies... ... "You just happened to catch my eye
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Post by hoofie on Nov 25, 2016 10:59:12 GMT -7
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