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Post by hoofie on Sept 20, 2016 5:39:00 GMT -7
Think of this as the old "thread not on topic". Post whatever is funny, interesting, or amazing to you, but please, no politics. There's a board for that here.
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After a round of golf, four ladies sat around the club house, chatting. Seeing the ladies, the Pro approached them and asked: "How did your game go? The first lady, a brunette, said she had a good round ... making the comment that she actually had 25 riders. The Pro was a bit perplexed not knowing what a "Rider" was. The second was a blonde lady who quickly chimed in and said that she had a very good round as well with 16 riders. The third lady then said that her round was average and that she only had 10 riders. The fourth lady admitted that she played the worst round of the day and that she only had 2 riders all day long. The Pro was completely confused not knowing what the term "rider" meant. But, because he didn't want to look dumb, he made a quick polite remark, wished the ladies well and then left. He then approached the bartender and asked "Hey, can you tell me what these ladies are talking about when they refer to "Riders"?"
The bartender simply smiled and said..."A 'Rider" is when you hit a shot far enough to ride on the golf cart to your ball.
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Post by hoofie on Sept 20, 2016 10:13:22 GMT -7
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Post by floydfreak on Sept 20, 2016 13:45:09 GMT -7
Nothing to add, really. I just want to run the board.
Sometimes, sadly, I feel as though I am talking to myself.
This post is neither humor nor sarcasm. So I guess it falls into the other category.
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Post by hoofie on Sept 21, 2016 7:28:59 GMT -7
Wait for it.............
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Post by hoofie on Sept 21, 2016 9:00:33 GMT -7
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Post by hoofie on Sept 21, 2016 12:30:17 GMT -7
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Post by floydfreak on Sept 21, 2016 12:51:41 GMT -7
Dang. That guy in the plane...where is that clip from? I love how he reaches up as if to make sure that his head is still attached.
They're very lucky that that didn't run out any worse than it did.
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Post by hoofie on Sept 23, 2016 10:36:20 GMT -7
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Post by hoofie on Sept 23, 2016 12:48:33 GMT -7
Larry goes to the revival and listens to the preacher. After awhile the preacher asks anyone with needs to be prayed over to come forward to the front at the altar. Larry gets in line, and when it's his turn, the preacher asks: "Larry, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Larry replies: "Preacher, I need you to pray for my hearing." The preacher puts one finger in Larry's ear, and he places the other hand on top of Larry's head and prays and prays and prays. After a few minutes, the preacher removes his hands, stands back and asks Larry: "Larry, how is your hearing now?" Larry says, "I don't know, Reverend, it's not until next Wednesday."
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Post by hoofie on Sept 26, 2016 9:47:12 GMT -7
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Post by hoofie on Sept 27, 2016 5:21:34 GMT -7
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Post by hoofie on Sept 27, 2016 9:50:52 GMT -7
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Post by hoofie on Sept 28, 2016 10:10:19 GMT -7
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Post by hoofie on Sept 29, 2016 6:25:00 GMT -7
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Post by hoofie on Sept 29, 2016 10:33:15 GMT -7
Laws and Rules of Life
Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time)
Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
Law of Bio-mechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee,someone will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet/rug.
Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like,they will stop making it.
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