A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains at a local university. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.
One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it to their religion.
Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.
Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.
"Well" he said "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation".
Reverend Billy Bob the Baptist, spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.
In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed "WELL, brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear, and then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus. Hallelujah!"
The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.
The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start".
I will seek and find You . . I shall take you to bed and have my way with you. I will make you ache, shake & sweat until you moan & groan. I will make you beg for mercy, beg for me to stop. I will exhaust you to the point that you will be relieved when I'm finished with you. And, when I am finished, you will be weak for days. All my love, The Flu Now, get your mind out of the gutter and Go get your flu shot!
John Doe: lets all try to get along and keep it civil and friendly see announcement on this subject posted in the appropriate sub forum. thanks
Nov 9, 2016 10:19:46 GMT -7
John Doe: i am selling the station and buying urban survival gear
Nov 17, 2016 7:57:59 GMT -7
osha: How come this don't get used? Is the mic broke?
Jun 16, 2017 20:22:07 GMT -7
John Doe: i doubt many realize it is a shoutbox
Jun 21, 2017 15:14:10 GMT -7
harleydays: Hello everyone...I bet you all thought I fell off the edge of the earth....Just haven't had time to check in here...
Feb 7, 2018 7:20:07 GMT -7
badman: good to see you again, harleydays! I've been wondering about you and also about jorj. I bet nobody is more happy though than snakebit. We have bumped his superior intellect plumb off of this screen.
Feb 15, 2018 16:46:37 GMT -7
hoofie: I have never been able to make this thing work
Feb 22, 2018 6:55:48 GMT -7
hoofie: Well, how about dat. Type and press enter. Who'd a thunk?
Feb 22, 2018 6:56:27 GMT -7
hoofie: I need a giant eyeroll right now.
Apr 23, 2018 4:50:06 GMT -7
harleydays: Just passing through again...We've been very busy with a small tourist business here in Sevilla Spain....so, its taking much of our time...I take it then, Snakebit has been set out to pasture...We sure did toss a lot BS in the days...
May 3, 2018 1:42:53 GMT -7
harleydays: But between myself, him and Chimayò, we really blew some good threads...
May 3, 2018 1:44:16 GMT -7
hoofie: Good to hear from you Harley. Snake hasn't been back since his last thrashing.
May 16, 2018 15:04:03 GMT -7
harleydays: Staying busy here in Southern Spain...the heat is on each day about 95....but the worse is to come in Aug when it hits more like 115 or more....We just completing the gutting of our home here...and completely remodeled...now its time for a vacation...
Jun 25, 2018 9:56:01 GMT -7
harleydays: that will have to wait until Oct...
Jun 25, 2018 9:56:11 GMT -7
hoofie: Hey Harley, are you back in the Caribbean?
Nov 5, 2018 6:22:34 GMT -7
Bobby Scott: Wow! Some people are still here!
Feb 6, 2019 5:34:41 GMT -7
harleydays: hoofie: At that time, yes I was in DR...but have returned to Spain this time of the year....I see you are holding the fort down....
Feb 19, 2019 13:57:56 GMT -7