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Post by hoofie on Sept 22, 2020 6:33:19 GMT -7
Home is where you know exactly how far to turn the knob to get a perfect temperature shower
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Post by hoofie on Sept 23, 2020 4:59:55 GMT -7
People often talk about leaving a better planet for our children but don't think about leaving better children for our planet
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Post by hoofie on Sept 24, 2020 5:55:25 GMT -7
People who complain about COVlD mandates are the same people who don't return shopping carts to the corral.
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Post by hoofie on Sept 25, 2020 8:14:41 GMT -7
Waking up in the morning sometimes feels like resuming a shitty movie you decided to quit watching.
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Post by hoofie on Sept 28, 2020 6:06:40 GMT -7
There's a perfect age to play hide and seek where you are old enough to find and appreciate good hiding spots, but young enough to still fit in most of them
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Post by hoofie on Sept 29, 2020 5:26:51 GMT -7
The biggest excitement killer is when you ask someone to guess something, and their guess is way bigger/cooler than what you actually wanted to tell them.
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Post by hoofie on Sept 30, 2020 6:58:07 GMT -7
I hear "Snap," "Crackle," and "Pop" every morning. Sadly, it comes from my knees, back, and neck.
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Post by hoofie on Oct 1, 2020 5:54:16 GMT -7
As I watched a dog chase his tail I thought "dogs are easily amused." Then I realized that I was watching a dog chase his tail.
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Post by hoofie on Oct 2, 2020 6:48:45 GMT -7
Someone's parents are probably using you as a bad example for her kids.
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Post by hoofie on Oct 4, 2020 13:07:17 GMT -7
Just broke my personal record for consecutive days lived..Going for the record again tomorrow
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Post by hoofie on Oct 5, 2020 7:47:58 GMT -7
The older that you get the easier it is to buy something that will last a lifetime.
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Post by hoofie on Oct 6, 2020 6:30:04 GMT -7
In a world without friction, you can't wipe your ass. But you also don't have to.
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Post by hoofie on Oct 7, 2020 5:59:13 GMT -7
Gambling is usually only considered an addiction if you are bad at it.
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Post by hoofie on Oct 8, 2020 7:03:09 GMT -7
The 90s seemed SO much further from the 60s than the 2020s seem from the 90s.
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Post by hoofie on Oct 12, 2020 6:06:51 GMT -7
Silly Putty implies the existence of serious putty.
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