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Post by hoofie on Sept 7, 2019 9:41:05 GMT -7
I was pulled over last night and the officer asked me if I had a police record. I told him "No, but I have a couple CDs by Sting". He didn't laugh.
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Post by hoofie on Sept 8, 2019 13:14:38 GMT -7
The most unrealistic thing about Spy movies is how clean the air ventilation system is.
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Post by hoofie on Sept 9, 2019 4:47:28 GMT -7
You can't change the past but you can still shape your future.
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Post by hoofie on Sept 10, 2019 6:13:30 GMT -7
Whenever I have a panic attack I put a paper bag over my mouth and consume the adult beverage within. It really seems to help.
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Post by hoofie on Sept 11, 2019 6:58:02 GMT -7
I'm told that it's possible to go to the gym and not tell Facebook about it.
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Post by hoofie on Sept 12, 2019 8:00:06 GMT -7
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Post by hoofie on Sept 13, 2019 5:54:38 GMT -7
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Post by hoofie on Sept 16, 2019 5:33:38 GMT -7
If you are reading this then you are blissfully unaware of what is creeping up behind you.
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Post by hoofie on Sept 17, 2019 5:29:56 GMT -7
You know you're a bad driver when Siri says: "In 400 feet, stop and let me out."
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Post by hoofie on Sept 19, 2019 5:48:27 GMT -7
I called my boss this morning and asked if I could come in late so I could get a little more sleep. He said: "Dream on." That was really nice of him, I'll thank him again later.
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Post by hoofie on Sept 20, 2019 5:37:22 GMT -7
How come when The Hulk smashes everything he's "incredible", but when I do it I'm drunk and banned from Walmart?
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Post by hoofie on Sept 23, 2019 5:22:35 GMT -7
I can remember back when my knees were referred to as "left" and "right", instead of "good" and "bad".
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Post by hoofie on Sept 24, 2019 5:39:35 GMT -7
Remember back when, if you dropped your phone, it didn't break, just the back came off and the battery flew out. Snap it back together and all is good.
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Post by cajun2core on Sept 24, 2019 5:48:25 GMT -7
Remember back when, if you dropped your phone, it didn't break, just the back came off and the battery flew out. Snap it back together and all is good. The good old unbreakable Nokia phones!
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Post by hoofie on Sept 25, 2019 10:49:10 GMT -7
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