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Post by hoofie on Jan 2, 2017 10:34:40 GMT -7
It’s incredible how dreams become interesting just when the alarm clock goes off.
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Post by hoofie on Jan 3, 2017 11:59:38 GMT -7
I’ll eat a pigs ass, prepared by several people, with several ingredients from all around the world and chemical preservatives, but if I find a hair in my soup, meal’s over.
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Post by hoofie on Jan 4, 2017 5:45:41 GMT -7
Do not use the toilet while you’re dreaming. It’s a trap!
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Post by hoofie on Jan 5, 2017 7:15:03 GMT -7
My New Years resolution for 2018 is to stop procrastinating.
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Post by hoofie on Jan 5, 2017 12:05:14 GMT -7
You know what’s more fun than traveling with small children? Anything. Literally anything…
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Post by hoofie on Jan 6, 2017 6:30:31 GMT -7
Beauty is only skin deep, but that’s OK because that’s all we get to see. No point in having a beautiful pancreas.
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Post by hoofie on Jan 7, 2017 10:18:29 GMT -7
As you grow older you spent more and more time cleaning before the party than after it.
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Post by hoofie on Jan 7, 2017 13:49:41 GMT -7
A turtleneck is an uncircumcised sweater.
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Post by hoofie on Jan 8, 2017 13:30:40 GMT -7
I’m not smart, I’m just really good at pretending to be not as dumb as I really am.
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Post by hoofie on Jan 9, 2017 6:19:00 GMT -7
I wonder if life gives dyslexic people melons instead of lemons?
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Post by hoofie on Jan 10, 2017 6:11:07 GMT -7
The saying “Early bird gets the worm” doesn’t make sense to me. The worm had to get up early too…“The early worm gets eaten.”.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
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Post by Deleted on Jan 11, 2017 9:30:39 GMT -7
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Post by hoofie on Jan 12, 2017 6:21:37 GMT -7
Chop sticks don’t actually chop anything.
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Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
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Post by Deleted on Jan 12, 2017 7:54:09 GMT -7
1944- Band leader Glenn Miller disappeared in a plane crash over the English Channel.
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Post by hoofie on Jan 12, 2017 14:09:59 GMT -7
The real reason for an alien invasion would be that they’d be pissed that they saw dinosaurs light years away, and when they came it’s just us.
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