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Post by hoofie on Mar 2, 2020 6:44:15 GMT -7
When life gives you lemons, give them back. Tell them you want beer.
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Post by hoofie on Mar 3, 2020 6:34:51 GMT -7
Pizza is made in circles, delivered in square boxes, and eaten in triangles. Geometry in motion.
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Post by hoofie on Mar 4, 2020 6:24:52 GMT -7
When you’re asleep, your brain can create an entire scenario, but when you’re awake, it can’t figure out why you walked into a room.
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Post by hoofie on Mar 5, 2020 6:05:59 GMT -7
The quickest way to sober up during a night out is to pat your pockets and not feel your phone.
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Post by hoofie on Mar 10, 2020 6:52:06 GMT -7
The lyrics to Old MacDonald are in past tense. Where did he go?
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Post by hoofie on Mar 11, 2020 5:34:14 GMT -7
If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.
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Post by hoofie on Mar 12, 2020 9:41:20 GMT -7
It is funny about getting older, our eyesight may weaken yet we can see through people much better.
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Post by hoofie on Mar 13, 2020 5:15:51 GMT -7
It has suddenly become more embarrassing to cough in public than it is to fart.
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Post by hoofie on Mar 14, 2020 11:23:23 GMT -7
With more and more people 'self quarantining' at home with no sports to watch, 9 months from now there will be an increase of babies born that we'll name "Coronials".
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Post by hoofie on Mar 15, 2020 12:25:00 GMT -7
Heat, pressure and time can both make a diamond..... and a waffle.
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Post by hoofie on Mar 16, 2020 5:35:21 GMT -7
Stripper Idea: A Stripper That Strips out of a Hazmat suit named “QuaranTina”
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Post by hoofie on Mar 16, 2020 10:02:50 GMT -7
It feels like we’re playing a worldwide game of Cooties.
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Post by hoofie on Mar 17, 2020 8:34:55 GMT -7
‘Grab a case of Corona on your way home from work’, has a whole new meaning now.
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Post by hoofie on Mar 18, 2020 5:18:57 GMT -7
You can’t tell anyone to go to hell anymore. There’s a travel ban.
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Post by hoofie on Mar 19, 2020 5:16:04 GMT -7
March madness is back on but it’s being held at your local grocery stores.
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