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Post by hoofie on Apr 10, 2020 12:13:39 GMT -7
One of the most complex calculations the human brain has to compute is whether the person behind you is close enough to require you to hold the door for them, or far enough that you can let the door shut without looking like an ass hole
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Post by hoofie on Apr 12, 2020 12:22:28 GMT -7
You don't decide where the furniture in your house goes, the power outlets do.
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Post by cajun2core on Apr 13, 2020 6:28:24 GMT -7
One of the most complex calculations the human brain has to compute is whether the person behind you is close enough to require you to hold the door for them, or far enough that you can let the door shut without looking like an ass hole Or when the light turns yellow: - punch it and risk running a red light, getting a ticket or worse getting hit or - stopping and being late for something or pissing the person behind you off or worse getting rear ended
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Post by hoofie on Apr 13, 2020 7:11:04 GMT -7
Next time someone says you look familiar, tell them you do porn.
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Post by cajun2core on Apr 13, 2020 8:06:32 GMT -7
Next time someone says you look familiar, tell them you do porn. Gay porn
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Post by hoofie on Apr 14, 2020 5:07:57 GMT -7
Being part of a major historical event sucks.
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Post by hoofie on Apr 15, 2020 5:41:24 GMT -7
If you order a vanilla latte with almond milk, you’re drinking three bean soup
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Post by hoofie on Apr 16, 2020 8:14:59 GMT -7
If you have to wear a wristband that says it, you’re not a VIP.
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Post by hoofie on Apr 18, 2020 12:19:51 GMT -7
If your New Years Resolution was to eat out less, you're probably killing it.
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Post by hoofie on Apr 19, 2020 11:18:06 GMT -7
A scented candle store burning down would smell amazing.
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Post by hoofie on Apr 20, 2020 6:41:28 GMT -7
The five-second-rule for any food that falls on the ground doesn't really apply when you've got two-second dogs.
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Post by hoofie on Apr 21, 2020 5:30:07 GMT -7
If I had a dollar every time someone complained about the cost of food at the cinema I could almost afford a child size popcorn.
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Post by hoofie on Apr 22, 2020 5:40:54 GMT -7
We won't buy cereal if the box is damaged even though it's in a bag but we blindly trust bread sealed with a twist tie.
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Post by hoofie on Apr 23, 2020 5:34:34 GMT -7
Seems like a lot of the protesters who want to reopen the country are retirees. They don't want to get back to work, they just want everyone else to.
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Post by hoofie on Apr 24, 2020 5:47:08 GMT -7
I bought a toilet brush yesterday. I can honestly say I still prefer toilet paper.
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